Imaginary Friend…or Foe? Normal Pretend Play or Too Much?

Last I checked I had only given birth to two children. Lately it seems I have somehow accumulated a third. His name is Dusty, I’m not sure of his exact age, but he’s been coming around more and more these past few months.

Dusty is my three year-old’s imaginary friend.

via: http://3.bp.blogspot.com

Dusty goes to the store with us, he bathes with my son, he helps us cook dinner, he’s been locked in the car on more than one occasion, I’ve sat on him more times than I can count…and I can’t even see him!

I am stunned at how persistent my son is about Dusty’s presence. We may go all day without hearing about him and then bam, out of nowhere, my son is telling him something. If I tell C no, he can’t do or have something, he in turn, tells Dusty that he can’t either. It’s almost as if Dusty teeters between being friend, sibling and child. I often hear my son getting on to his little pretend friend as if he is the parent and Dusty, the child.

I’ve heard many parents say their child has or has had an imaginary friend but I never ever envisioned it’d be like this. I always thought “Aww, how cute!”. But you see, as cute as it may be at times and as much as I think pretend play is wonderful, Dusty apparently isn’t always good and he and C have “spats”. C likes to get on to Dusty. On top on that, I have now twice heard “Dusty told me to do it.” Luckily, that was quickly put to a stop.

C has spent the majority of his short three years of life playing with adults. Of course, he had occasional interaction with other children but it wasn’t until just 4 months ago when we moved our family back home that he really got the opportunity to start forming bonds and friendships with other children that he now gets to see on a semi-regular basis. On top of that, he also now has a new brother. The thing that stumps me the most is, Dusty didn’t “appear” until shortly after the move. Why now? It would have made more sense (in my mind anyway) for C to have had a pretend friend before.

I did do some quick research and was surprised to find that imaginary friends are much more common than I had previously thought…even to the extent that C has taken it. It is normal for children to argue with them, play with them and even turn to them for support. I also learned that they are very much considered part of normal development whereas in the past, kids with imaginary friends were thought to be socially awkward and lacking real friends.

I have noticed that Dusty isn’t around when C’s real friends are. C is also very much aware of the fact the Dusty is not real and that no one else can see him. He even tells me sometimes ”he’s just pretend, mom!”

Coincidentally, I was just informed that it’s Dusty’s birthday today, now… I guess I’m headed to have “cake and ice cream.”

Does (or did) your kid have an imaginary friend? I would love to hear your stories in the comments below!

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